So ok, I am entering the prime of my life and day by day I am learning a lot more about myself and my environment. This year has been somewhat lopsided in terms of meaningful events yet I’ve learned so much. I’ve been able to delve deep within myself and carefully analyze my every steps. But before I take this very next step, I am going to apologize to you and you. Yes, you, the future ladies that I am going to meet. The future professional women, baby mamas, model type, cyberspace friends that will grill me about my life, my likes and dislikes, my goals, my five and ten year plan. I am sorry but I will probably not be able to share any of those things with you. See, in order for me to completely open up to you, I must learn to trust you, meaning I will have to metamorphosise into an ‘all women are not the same’ type of guy and that’s not going to happen anytime soon. So, before we proceed any further, I really want you to understand that I don’t need you to bombard me with a whole bunch of questions about my life, my pasts, or my plans. Now, I am more than willing to talk politics, music, black community, America, and everything else. But I need you to give up on the fact that you believe you can change me. That’s not going to happen lady, so stop it.
In case I happen to take you out on a date, I need you to know that I am going to be a gentleman but the minute you flip the script on me, I am going to bounce. I need you to just let me be, let me grow to like you and eventually we might have something. You dig. So ladies, let’s take it slow, one kiss at a time ok. I need you to follow my directions that’s why I offer my deepest and most sincere apology to you and you…now will you forgive me when I can’t tell you why I don’t believe in love anymore, so let me make it easy for you…How can she love thee yet is carrying someone else’s kid? Will you believe me when I can’t tell you exactly why it’s painful to trust women? Well once again, let me make it easy for you, the feeling of being lied to and manipulated and having to find out through a magazine that your supposed girlfriend was dating another man. Will you forgive me when I refuse to open up about my past relationships??? Will you forgive me when I tell you that I cannot trust you…just because…I know you will oppose so just in case you happen to read this blog entry, expect the moment, prepare your reaction, so that you will be able to forgive me when I tell you…
TBD…thanks for the inspiration…
2021-2022 Season Finale
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*What's That Growling Noise?*
The WORD wonders. That growling noise could be his stomach. Maybe it’s the
backhoe digging up the front yard. Or, more like...
2 years ago
Stop crying over spilled milk, we have all been there done and that Blake and you're no exception. You can't allow for these mishaps to sway you away from love. Do you think there's a person out there that hasn't been scorned by those that have said that they loved them? C'mon man be for real. So what, you plan on living the life of a bachelor for the remainder of your life?!!! We all want that companionship. We all desire to be loved and we all have that want for "love"...it's practically innate! Don't blow love off because some chick did you over...the hell with them. Pick up and move on just be a bit more wise about your pickings. Take time to know these ladies that you go for. Be aware of the warning signs and follow your gut, but don't allow for your hurt and anger to trick you into seeing things that aren't there. You're still at the prime of your life man there's no need to rush into these things. Date more often if you have to but just make sure that you're taking your time with it all and sooner or later you will come across THAT woman that will just grasp at your heart FOR REAL this time.
ReplyDeleteHeart Break! Been there, done that, but we need to move on. Why let yourself be in prison within your soul beacause someone did not know how to appreciate you. See me I know how to love, I know how to love my mate and give them all that they ask of me, but then I always get the short hand of the stick. Met my mate at 16, married at 18, and basically kept growing with them. Until they slipped up and strayed. Yea I must admit it burned like hell, I wanted to leave but I couldn't. Like damn, how could they have shared their body with some one else, did they use the same words that they would speak upon me when they were with that other person. So many questions, so much denial, so much hate. I stuck around only to get burned over and over again. Well now we're apart, and I could not stand the opposite sex for a good min. Thought my whole world just ended, I never loved someone the way I loved this person. Moved away, bacame bitter as hell. Play the game is what I said to myself. But really where does that leave me. Giving up my body to every Dick and Harry, naw, I'm better than that. What I did was start loving myself first, and getting to know that child that I did not let run free within me. I grew up to fast, missed alot. B. I am sure as confident as you are, there is alot you still probably need to know about who you really are. Once you do, what ever that happened to you in the past will be of a distant memory. You will learn to open up again, and enjoy the companion of a woman without judging her. Who knows that particular one that opens you up, maybe the one that holds you dear to her heart. I mean I have learn to open up, and as much as I try to not get to close to a particular person, I find myself thinking of that person first thing in the morning, last thing before I go to sleep at night. It scares me but I am not gonna let destiny make the wrong turn beacuse of one person's mistake. Open up B. don't be afraid, your true love is out there waiting on you, the only thing is will you let them come close enough to grow with you!
ReplyDeleteIm not going to tell you to get over it or try to trust anyone because only you know what you ve experienced and what made you shy away from opening up to others.Take as long as you need to heal but my brother remember that life goes on with or with out you
ReplyDeleteI would have to say that you can't let your past holding you back. I have been hurt before and i learn from mistakes. I realized that i was dating the same guy but they would just had different names. Now, i take more time and try to get to know the person first, and try to see if can have a future together.you just have to get to know her well before you take it to the next level. Im sure that you will find love one day
ReplyDeleteAm sure you will be back. Being inlove it like a taste of salf for a zombie...One you have tasted it, iy will never be the same...But it isnt forced...when the time is right then you will n kow and will forget about previous heart ache....
ReplyDeleteNaturally when we get hurt by a past lover or someone we love we retreat into a "self-protecting" mode to prevent the situation from ever happening again. Clearly, that's where you are. Although that's natural, however the problem in your case is the schema about women, love/relationship you’ve constructed as a result: Meaning you expect women to hurt you—creating a confirmatory bias of relationship and love. Consequently, you believe that women, and relationship are untrustworthy or unsafe, respectively--thus with every woman you meet you unconsciously seek to support this schema or bias.
ReplyDeleteHowever, not all am I saying that you are the problem for the failure of your relationships. Rather, your current approach denotes an illusory correlation between love, women and heartbreaks. And I am sure your choices in partners are another way you support this loose correlation. My cliché of the century bears repeating here: "if you expect something fail...you’ll think you’re a prophet.”
Bear in mind that the choices we make in life are indicative our state of minds; where we are in our lives, and the things we try to avoid.
Interesting piece!
If I were a girl that you were interested in, I would tell you NO. No, I can not forgive you. Man up, heal from the past. I refuse to pay for the crime of some other girl. I deserve better. I deserve a man who trusts me and who will open up to me. From readin your blog, I can tell that what you want most is love, so stop sabotaging that by pushing away potential mates and using that friend of yours as a crutch.open your heart again, learn to trust again. The right girl will not tolerate you being present a fraction of the time. She deserves 100%. Why should she suffer because some other girl made you suffer? Does that make sense? Would you tolerate that from a girl? I don't think so. We have all been hurt before. We can not give the people who hurt us so much power. So if I were your date, I would say NO! I would demand better, I would demand to get to know you, I would demand that your agree your dreams with me, that you open up to me, and you would love me for it at the end.
ReplyDeleteI hope you don't mind my comments. I enjoy reading your blog and enjoy commenting. I hope you one day heal and meet the girl of your dream. Too bad I am married and older, I would straighten you lol seriously dear, we've all been hurt. The girl of your dream has probably been hurt too and she will need your love to heal. You can heal together instead of seeing her as an enemy.
Danmmm... Your readers are tough! lol! But i do agree with what most of them have written...MAN UPP!
ReplyDelete