Inside the mind of Mr Prodg

I was on this website and they posed this question:

"""" Is your parent to be blame? This is the question I need you folks to think and answer to the best of your capability.

This morning while watching TV, the topic was "your parent to be blame". I understand that each of us has our own personality and usually it is base on our environment and the way we grow up.

Base on the study from the TV show a psychologist found that it is our parent to blame. Because we were raised base on our parents ego and what they want in life. It is also our perception that we will grow up to be what our parents expect us to be; if there's one thing I need no citation or research to prove, it's that our parents have done a pretty horrendous job bringing us up. Yet, I still feel that my failure in life have a lot to do with my parents, just for the fact that while I was growing up, they were my only idol, I had no interest on anyone else. So who should we blame if we feel that we failed in life again of course they’re the one to praise for if we feel that we have accomplish what we really want in life.The situation is very complex but unique base on my experience I believe that our parents can be blame only if we have failed however we can really justify our failure if we feel that we are successful.

Please I want to hear your inputs and your judgment will also appreciate.""""

So here is my response....please comment if you agree or disagree...

While the parents should shoulder some blame yet I feel that the individual himself/herself should take some of that blame for the way they turn out. There are a lot of children who have done great things in life without the support or guidance of their parents. We cannot blame our parents for everything when there’s so much on their plates that they cannot focus all their energies on their children.

It’s like when a kid does something, the first question the community asks is, “where was this kid’s parents?” But parents don't have the luxury of hindsight, all they can do is their best and hopefully it is enough. As young adults who have yet to go through the pain and labor of raising kids, we need to have compassion for the complexity of being a parent and the struggle that parents have, especially if it’s a single parent who’s working 2 jobs to maintain a shelter. Keep in mind that at some point we did things that our parents didn't want us to do;

We cannot neglect the facts folks, from the age of 4-18 a lot of kids spend most of their time outside of the house, meaning they’re either at a daycare, school, or their bedroom sleeping. So, shouldn’t the daycare centers and the teachers take the role of de facto parents while these kids are with them? Your teachers are the ones who aid with the transition from Elementary, Middle, and High school to college while your parents help with the transition from a boy or girl to a man or woman. So like the saying states, it takes a whole village to raise a child. Your parents can be your role models but that doesn’t mean everything they do is in compliance with ‘the right way’ to do things.

I have always maintained that I was on my own role model simply because I like to do things my way and use my failures as guidance. I am not saying that I don’t have heroes or anything like that, I try to use those folks as motivators (MLK, Martin Luther, Gandhi, Cassius Clay, the boat people, Michael Jordan, etc).
How can you say your parents did a horrendous job raising you when they had to work two jobs to pay for the home that you slept in, the food you ate, the clothes you were wearing, the school supplies they purchased, the travel expenses they couldn’t afford yet still found a way to pay them, the presents they gave you etc…I know one can argue that it is their responsibilities to provide for you yet many parents don’t go beyond their means to provide for their children.

I, regardless of my relationship with my folks, will never blame them for anything and it’s not due to any type of success that I have enjoyed thus far. I just feel/believe that they did all they could to provide me a great life even when they themselves never had a great life. They went beyond their means to make sure that I had a great education, they showed interest in my social life, they guided me morally, and even when I was to blame for failing my Micro Econ class, they helped me understand that maybe going into business wasn’t the right thing for me… so I cannot blame them for anything.

So I guess, the next question would be, to what degree do we blame our parents for our failures?