I just finished reading this great book entitled “Season of Life” by Jeffrey Marx. It’s really not your typical biography. This book is deeper than that. The story is about this former professional football star turned Minister and high school football coach. This book entails some very interesting aspects of a men’s spiritual and mental being. It delves into some issues that some men go through during our lifetime. It is a journey of a boy into manhood.
In this piece, Jeffrey Marx is interviewing this Minister and Coach and one thing they touched on is the ‘false masculinity’. The author discusses three different components to false masculinity that we have accepted as a society and we use that as a measuring stick as to what separate a real man from a boy. The three elements listed were: Athletic ability, sexual conquest and economic success. I read on about each specific factor, I begun to analyze the people around me and found concrete examples of how true this theory is really is. And then it suddenly hit me, I began to question myself and whether or not I am in fact one of those dudes affected by ideas of false masculinity. I asked why I did certain things and wondered if I was fixated with the act of declaring myself a man to my peers and the rest of the world.
The results of this deep introspection provided me with answers that I was very satisfied with yet I couldn’t help it but to ask myself some serious questions like, why do I love sports so much? Why do I feel the need to have sex? I also asked myself about the word success and my definition of it? Where did the idea of success come from? And how much of a factor does economic advancement play in my pursuit of success? And if success and money goes hand in hand? According to the Minister in “season of life”, success isn’t related to any of the things I was thinking about. He claims that the relationships that you have built with people are the true measurements of success. He backed up his claims with this, imagine a wealthy businessman with all the money in the world, yet he has failed at his marriage and doesn’t even know his own children. One thing I’ve learned though, regardless of my economical success, the act of making all of my personal relationships work with friends and family will always be a priority…
As the holiday season approached, I urge you to think of your relationship with those you love, those you claim to love and evaluate where you stand. Take a deeper look within you and imagine what your life would be like without the support of that homeboi, the advice of that sister, the unconditional love of that companion, imagine…I urge you to.
Happy Holidays folks… This is only the beginning.
