Sex and relationships...no correlation

The way I look at it, if I have sex with a woman that I don’t know or don’t care about, sex isn’t going to make me care. Me having sex with this woman is like scratching an itch. This goes for every man, once he scratches, he’s through. Many of us don’t be sitting around thinking about the woman or how good the sex was. We just move on with our lives until we get that urge again or until we meet someone else who’s willing to help us rid that itch. For many dudes, as long as they get rid of that itch, that’s all that matters.

A lot of women out there think they can handle a sexual relationship or a sex fling, but they end losing sight of things and wanting these men to romance, wine and dine them when in truth it was nothing but a piece of ass to us. Ladies, stop pretending, it was nothing but a booty call.

So who’s the to blame? Well, in my experiences, the guy most of the time take the brunt of the blame but ladies keep in mind that you are sadly part of our problem. You invite me in wayyyy before you got to know me, so we end up sleeping with each other without you knowing what my last name is, my job title, my hobbies, etc. You never care to ask what I am about, what I bring to the table and or if I am even taken. Boning me doesn’t mean that we have a ‘relationship’. I know there are plenty of ladies out there who are shaking their head as they read this but you know I ain’t lying.

Another thing that gets to me is the many women who marry men who were cheating prior to the engagement or walking the down isle and these women are astonished that a fancy wedding dress or an luxurious wedding didn’t change this man’s perspective. Ladies, why would he change? In what world are you living in? You allow this brother to get away with it from the go and you accepted his marriage proposal, so you think he was going to change all of a sudden? You must be out of your freaking mind. You need to stop rewarding us for our unfaithful ways by pretending it ain’t happening.

Like my father told me not too long ago, not all black men cheat but I cheated and I know many men who didn’t cheat on their woman. I personally, I don’t cheat. I’ll admit, I am big flirt but I know not to take it too far or cross the line. I wouldn’t openly disrespect my woman by flirting with another woman in her presence. But I tell you this, a lot of men cheat because there no real penalties. My thing is, ladies, stop jumping into bed with brothers you barely know. Just because he’s cute or he’s driving a nice car, doesn’t mean you’re supposed to lay there and let him penetrate you. But if you do let that happen, please don’t complain when he doesn’t return your phone call the next day. If you give a man fewer opportunities to cheat then you will probably live a sane life. Be sure to ask the important questions that would reveal his true essence. Stop worrying the material things and focus more on his inner self, openly help him talk about his past relationships, his misfortunes, his ways and how he got to be that way.

To my all my Haitians ladies reading this, stop thinking you got the bomb pussy. If you had the bomb pussy then why did he cheat on you? If it was so good then why did he leave you for your best friend? If a man dogged his ex out, rest assure you are next on his list. Read the signs ladies. I am telling y’all. You are not an interpreter, so stop interpreting what a man says to fit your rationales. If a man tell you he isn’t looking for anything serious, please take him at his word. Stop thinking once you put it on him, he’s going to stick around. In fact, why do you think he isn’t looking for anything serious to begin with? Ladies, are your ears glued the fuck shut? Men don’t have to lie when women tend to be deaf. Bottom line is, if you can’t answer basis questions about me, don’t spread your legs.

See another thing is, a lot of women are afraid to be alone. They refuse to take the time to get to know a brother and they complain that he was the one who pressured them into having sex. Bottom line ladies, if we like you, there’s nothing that’s going to keep us away. We’re sticking around, regardless. But if you happen to just sleep with a man after you just met him, please keep your expectations at zero. We do not owe you a relationship or another date just because you had sex with us. That's not how it works, baby. You’re responsible for your sexual behavior, so stop blaming the man, it won’t change a thing.

Listen up ladies, sex does not = a relationship, a man will not respect a woman who does not respect herself or her body, if you trade sex for material things you are prostituting yourself, if he doesn't take care of his other children why would you have a baby with him? if you reward a dog why should men stop being dogs? You have to bring more to the table than your body. No your pussy is not made of gold. It is only as good as I think it is.

Ladies, you have to raise your standards if you expect us man to do it. Stop taking the easy way out and elevate your game.


PS: This piece was inspired by this other piece one of my colleagues forwarded m