Beaute Creole (Part 2)

I awoke the next day to the smell of hot pancakes, FAC had prepared a nice meal for me, and the poison man was about to have his first breakfast in bed. I tuned the TV to ESPN, went to the bathroom to clean up, and back to my bed. She fed me. She took her time to put each slice in my mouth, for a second there I felt like a little kid in a candy store. She took great care of me and then told me that she had to head out and take care of some errands.

It has now been two weeks and she and I have decided to establish the rules of this impending relationship. For the first 3 months

We won’t have sex
We will spend the night only if one of us has to
No major gifts
No weekend getaways
And no family gatherings
Once we agreed on those things, she and I were simply inseparable. She would text in the AM to wake me up only to have me text her back when I knew it was time for her to get up for classes or work. It was a natural pattern that perfectly suited us and she and I just grew to learn a lot more about each other. We were in sync and that played a major role for the first two weeks.

Our musical taste differs to a certain extent but it didn’t matter because we both wanted to learn about each other. It was scary because the experience was so anew. So she invited me to a King of R&B concert featuring Neyo, Jay Holiday, Lloyd, Bobby Valentino, and Gerald Levert. You won’t find a lot of dudes at this event now would you? But I went because I sometimes listen to Jay Holiday even though I don’t care about his bed song. Bobby Valentino’s track ‘slow down’ was a major hit, so I figured she and I could cozy up while he performs that track, and Neyo is the new Usher and he got a lot of good tracks. So we got to the concert and she was all into it. I wanted to get into it too but it wasn’t my typical event. So we listened to the late Gerald Levert, danced to a couple of Jay Holiday tracks, we connected during Neyo’s performance and Bobby V just had her shaking her booty. That stuff looks good. But I won’t go into it just yet.

We had an awesome time. Good music, good food, a couple of drinks, lot of flirtatious moments, and most importantly, we were together. We felt like we were together. Her body was always near mine and I could sense her enthusiasm. It was great.

I dropped her off, kissed her good night and drove home to catch some sleep.

To be continued…

Beaute Creole (Part I)

This morning I kept getting rings on my doorbell while I was sleeping. I thought it was a part of my dream but it kept happening. So I forced myself to awake from my slumber and see who was at the door. I unlocked the door and stepped out onto the stairs of my apartment when I noticed a figure I knew all too well. It was this ‘beaute creole’ from Aux Cayes who I have been in contact with. She’s sort of like an R&B chick, pretty nice eyes, her booty and tits are the right size, natural hair, sexy ass smile and face and I couldn't believe she was standing at the bottom of the stairs waiting on me to unlock the door between us. I mean, this is pretty daunting because she’s standing there looking all delicious and eatable, and I am just wearing my boxer. PAs I walked down the flight of stairs I couldn't help but think how beautiful and inviting she looked. She is the color of night. Just beautiful all around but why was she here? I'd wipe my eyes to see if I was still asleep but there she stood. She and I have had a good history but I still couldn’t pinpoint why she would want to visit me this early in the AM. Afterall, aren’t you supposed to call before you come over? That’s why it’s called a ‘booty call’.

I opened the door to her and led her in all while I'm thinking "this is crazy, what am I doing?" I could smell her favorite cologne on her fresh skin and it turned me on. So I told her to have a seat while I "freshened up".

So I went into the bathroom, took a quick shower, brushed my teeth, and put on some shorts. So I dragged myself back into the living room to where she was seated. Before I could open my mouth and say the first word she told me that she been thinking about me and she wanted to apologize for the way Fanm Jacmel left (referring to the last day of school) and wanted to show me that she could be my down ass chick. See, the sidestep a bit, Fanm Jacmel left at a time when I really needed her, I needed her to comfort me, but no, she was incapable of providing that, it’s not in her DNA, so therefore I was left hanging. So she proceeded by telling me stuff that I really wanted to hear yet couldn’t get myself to believe, but I accepted them because I needed to give her the benefit of the doubt, something her predecessor couldn’t give me.

So she and I sat on the couch, talk about different things from family history, her upbringing, her pasts relationships (which was very intense), her professional life and futuristic stuff. I was drawn to this woman before she came over but after speaking to her, this future nurse had me head over heels. I actually wanted to ‘koutize l’, I had never done that before, so this time I wanted to start from scratch and do it the way my ancestors did it.

So by now it’s 11 am, so I asked her if she had any plans for the day, she told me she was all mine, so I hesitated not, and made some plans with her. I wanted to make lunch for deux and since it is soccer season, I figured I’d take to an OM game and spend some quality time together. So she went into my closet, changed into a pair of my shorts and t-shirt, came to the kitchen to cook with me. That was my very first time cooking with a woman, so while I was still a bit nervous, yet it was sort of like a glimpse into the future, what might become of this IF all the dots are dotted and the ts are crossed.

So I pulled out a bottle of ‘Folie a Deux’ Carbernet Sauvignon, poured some in a glass for her, and we started to make quick pasta with vegetables and garlic sauce. Upon completion, we ate, laughed, cuddled, and completely forgot about the game. By the time we got off the couch, it was already 9pm so I suggested that we go to one of the bars by the beach and then a moonlight walk. She was all for it…it was surreal…totally unprecedented…drove back to my place, gave her a kiss on the cheeks, she got in her car and drove home.

We were on the phone the whole time she was driving back to her place, she got in, cleaned up, called me back, and spent the next 7 hours on the phone until we were interrupted by another knock on my door, so I went downstairs to see who it was, there she was with her pillow, standing at the front door, wanting to cuddle some more.

Turned off the lights placed my arm around her, and we fell asleep…

To be continued.

Gawou...le combat continue frere

Today I feel somber yet complete
one would think that a funeral would make you sad
I wouldn't know because I didn't go
as you may know my homie Ishmael went home
as I feel sad that he had to vacate the spot and leave
I am somewhat relieved by his passing
I spoke to his brother Ali and Ish is not suffering at this time
He was really struggling so he’s with god for all time
there will never be another
For what he brought to the table, a friend like him I will never have a better
I can only hope to be
as compassionate, colorful, and philosophical as he was
I am glad he knew how I felt though
his whole family knew that I loved his crazy ass so
and I knew he loved my stupid ass unconditionally
it’s as if we were from the same lineage
twins from different moms yet the same age
you’ll never be forgotten my dude.
R.I.P. Gawou…
Le combat continue frère…on bouge sur le terrain like never before.
Prince B vas le faire…hope you’re proud man.

7/26/08

All about you

Whats up folks? It's monday morning and i wanted to check in with you all. How was your weekend? what did you do? Who did you do it with? Feel free to share.

Mine was cool. Didn't do much. But i am looking forward to next weekend. In fact i have been looking forward to next weekend for a while now. It should be very exciting.

So my last post 'last day of school 2' was pretty intense. Some people think i should avoid posting those stories simply bc i am a professional and i need to hide that part of my life. But then again, this blog wouldn't be "inside the mind of the poison man', would it? I know what i am going to do with folks like that though...

so i am in the mood to 'fe lanmou en creole', you know. ever since the term was explained to me, thats all i want to do. Unfortunately, i don't have a partner, so would you "fe lanmou en creole" with me next weekend?

For a while, I thought Jacmel had the best girls in Haiti so in my mind, i only focused on them in my writing...but the other day, medam aux cayes, komanse voye mass mail ban mwen, asking me why am i sweating ti kokorat Jacmel yo, yo dim Aux Cayes "c'est la source de la beaute"...so gen le map oblije al Aux cayes pou m verifie bagay yo. lol.

So two people donated to the toydrive today and while i am very grateful, i feel like the HTan community should do more. So i am asking you, yes you, we're in need of $12, to reach $1,100. See what you can do to help. After all, ou di w se moun pa m, but ou pa janm supote anyen k map fe.

Enjoy your work week folks...and look out for some good topics this week. I am feeling really good today.

Thanks to my Aux Cayes beauty for the contribution. Wa fe moun yo rayi m wi tifi.

A mon Frere Ishmael...R.I.P.

RIP to my boy Zanga Ishmael Coulibaly
I was there when you hit your first game winner
Helped you bone your first girl in America
Helped you with your first English paper
We wrote our first song together at the house
“Nothing better than pussy” was the theme
You never missed any of my games and vice versa
You showed me what true hommihood is all about
Thank you for Kery James, thank you for Akhenaton
Thank you for all your advice, thank you for not selling me out after I slept with Henry’s girl
Dang, that would have been a major ass whipping.
Thanks for the biscuits man, you always made sure to save me some extra ones
Thanks for all the hours in the studio, my love for music grew because of you
Your dedication and passion, I will never forget
Sorry I couldn’t be there for you when I went away for CT
Yet you made sure to come see me when I was struggling on the field
Thank you Ish for always having my back…the night I got drunk with Abokan
The night we got kicked out of the dorms…
The night the girls took the car…
We made plans to link up at the Kery James concert…
Now I wish I had call your mom when you fail to reply to my e-mail
Why didn’t you tell me you had cancer fam? I bet it was your pride…
I would have flown to Abidjan to see you man…You were part of my family.
I told my folks and they’re sadden over the news man.
I wish we could have had one last go at it…Kery James at the Cigale would have been crazy dude.
It’s sold out though…I’ll pay my respect when in February…
I promise to stay in touch with your mom…she was a great French teacher to me.
I know she’s devastated…I’ll reach out as often as my schedule allows me…
I know you’re gone but you’ll always be in my heart fam…
Sorry you didn’t get that Kiss from Cheryl…she cried when I told her last night.
Now she wishes she had kissed you too. You should be smiling…That’s one girl, I couldn’t pull…not even on my best day…lol.
“Nothing better than pussy”…if only you knew man…Life is a whole lot better than pussy.
The stupid shit we say when we have no clue about this life…

Repose en paix mon frere! t'a marker ton temps, tu m'as marker par ta simplicité, ton ouverture; tu n'était pas comme les otres jeunes de ton age. t avait 1 grd coeur tjrs souriant, poli, gentil, respectueux, t avait la joie de vivre et de reussir tout sk tu fesait. Gawou, tu me manques.

R.I.P. 7/22/08

Last Day of School (Part II)

****This is the continuation of Last Day of School. Hope you like it.****

She had a body that was smaller than I had ever thought I’d like but I did. She had small breasts that were almost non-existent. She had a small butt and a small face. Pretty young Haitian shawty from Jacmel, she was quiet, always had her head in the books. We used to flirt back and forth but on this very day, I noticed her alright…It was the first time I noticed her and to tell the truth, I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. Now, that she had my attention, I couldn’t help but notice her cute, little ass. There wasn’t much of it, but what she had, I liked and I was learning that I liked it a lot.

She and I became real close and all semester long she had wanted me to bone her in the classroom yet her fears prevented her from committing to it each time we got close to doing it. So on the last day of class, the final session before she receives her degree, I surprised her. I knew that she likes to sit in the last row, so when she came in, the professor passed out the necessary documents and once he said “you may now begin”, I placed my hands on her thighs, she peeked under the desk and there I was. She whispered,’ what are you doing?’ I told her not to worry and focus on her exam. Giving that she was wearing a skirt, I slowly took off her pantyhose and her undergarment exposed with just the smallest bit of fabric flossing its way between what I could already tell was a glistening pussy. Knowing that her vagina had already surrendered, I didn’t bother with pulling her panties down. I just pulled the wispy cloth to one side and I placed my ring finger inside of her.

The girl let out a little, plaintive bleat as her pussy took the full length of my finger and then she was quiet as I pulled it back only to let out another of her little whimpering cries as I finger fuck her with two fingers. I could feel the moist of her vagina, I gently rub the clitoris, and I could hear her moan, she wanted it, right then and there, but I needed her to enjoy every second of this night. ‘for I was set to make it a memorable night. I wanted her to remember this for the rest of her life, and as she glides closer to me, I spread her thighs and lay my tongue on her vagina. My tongue darted all around her clitoris and as the professor came around to pick up the exams, she sat still, said good bye to some folks, and she pretended as if she was going over some of her notes.

By now, we were both alone…the classroom was vacant and it was time to settle this for good. She pulled me from under desk; dropped on her knees and… (end of Part I)


Wrapped her teeth around my zipper and pulled down gently and rapidly, as she was eager to get my creamy feeling. My pulsating manhood popped out of my pants ready to see what was coming as her "Angelina Jolie" looking lips came at his tip. She kisses him hello and part her lips slightly so that she can let him in to her hot, moist deep throated mouth. She backed away slowly leaving my manhood yearning for another open mouth kiss. She stood up slowly and started unbuttoning my shirt. I was curious. She bent over slightly and sucked my right nipple to attention, dang this girl is about to get it, I said deep within. Her warm saliva awaking every sensitive nerve in my body, boy oh boy, li fe m anvi vole.

My mouth watered as I palmed her breasts and bit slightly, them twins smelled nice. She reached over and nibbled on my earlobe because of the building warmth between her thighs. Her "she-nectar" moistened her velvet red thong. Since I had already torn off her pantyhose, I pull off her red thong and place her on top of the professor’s desk. Baby girl looked good, as I lay her there, I admired the body, the pussy, the woman that she is, and then I started exploring every inch, every points, and every corner of her body. My tongue galvanized all the hot spots, and by the time I got to her vagina, it was as if I was in a pool. My natatorial prowess was on full display; Michael Phelps got nothing on me in this competion. I spread labia even more, so that her clit was fully exposed. Soon, my warm breath was fanning her sensitive skin, and then I was drawing it into his mouth, licking softly on it. I teased it with the tip of my tongue, rasping over it again and again.

She’s laying there, begging me to push my head in, asking me to keep on going, her legs in the air as if she was trying to raise the roof, she screamed, I am coming, I could feel she was breathing harder, faster, and her body was motioning towards ejecting some type of liquid, more like fluid, so I pulled back, she did what she had to do, within 2 minutes, she climbed mount Everest, and began her assault. Her skills bogarted me at first, but as I put her in the Chinese position, we were enjoying each other a lot more. There was a lot of passion, a lot of personal intimacy, it was rejoicing. Although at times she seemed superannuated, yet she was eager to please me and make this moment a special one for the both of us. After all, it was the last day of school and being an F1 student, she had to go back to Jacmel the next day.

She asked me if I wanted to use the chair as a prop, my face lit up, I placed her hands on the handle, one leg of the sit, and extend her small buttocks my way. I kissed her vagina from the back and here comes the penis, it got in there very smoothly, it was as if he was the MAN of the house and he was ready to tear off some Jacmellienne pussy. So she started talking shit, she was saying things like, Segnieur papa sove m, Cherie est ce k coco m dous, wap tuye m, and a bunch of other stuff. I mean, I loved the dirty talk because it only made our moment extra special.

By now she’s sitting on the chair and we’re going at it. I could tell she was getting tired, I could tell she has had enough, she turned and said to me, “No more,” as I settle between her thighs, I guided the heavy length of my cock against her pussy. “Please, sir, I don't want...” so I exited her pussy, asked to suck on it as she made sure that I bust at least one nut. She turned her ass around and I sprayed it on her small booty. She wiped me off with her pantyhose, gave me a hug, and asked me to dress her.

As I was putting her clothes back on, I sense that she wanted to say something, I sensed that she wanted more out of this, so I said, baby girl, I will come to Jacmel to see you. All elated, she wrote her info down, I walked her back to the dorms, kissed her good night, and went on my way.

The very last day of school tend to be very emotional, whether you’re in Elementary, Middle, High school or college, someone is always crying. So here I find myself, all alone, thinking about this last day of school with my shawty from Jacmel. A night that I will never forget, a night that is deep ingrained in my memory, a night that no matter where I am at, no matter who I end up being with, it will always be, the best memory of all time. Last day of school…

A Confession

So this is the only place you’re going to read this, I refuse to text, email, or call you to explain this. This entry will be the only one in this blog where I will admit that I miss you. So if you want to know I suggest you come here to read it. Only problem is that you will have to come here to know that my confession can be found here. I don’t know how you'll find out because I am not going to tell you.

So perhaps you'll never know and that’s ok too because when you fuck up I forgive you and I fuck up, well, let’s leave that alone.

I confess that I still have all these feelings for you and it has been tough on me; way harder than I thought it would be. I know you think it hasn’t because I have been so distant and cold. I have tried my best to make you believe that I really don’t care that our friendship is over. Every other time we've ended our friendship I always cried and confessed my sorrow but this time I will keep my sorrow as far away from you as possible. I know this makes you think that I am not feeling any sorrow but if you believe that then you must not know me at all. You make everything so hard to explain and you’re so difficult to deal with and it hurts to know that I cannot open up to you because in your world everything is supposed to be perfect. People cannot make mistakes so therefore, your world I exit, and this time, regardless if I am the most hated, I will at least have my sanity.

You asked me why I acted the way I did when you came back, the truth is, the things you said to me were too cruel to be forgotten. I couldn’t imagine why you said them in the first place and all of a sudden you came back and I am supposed to forget them. Your sorry meant a lot but at the same time, it wasn’t enough. There is no way that I could forgive and move past your words even if they were only said in the heat of passion and anger. Just the simple fact that you would think to fix your lips to express such meanness to me lets me know that our friendship has come to its final resting place. You act like you have nothing to lose and can express yourself at any given time but it cannot be like that. Sometimes it’s hard to take things back especially when you cannot control the effect it can have on the other party. I will mourn its demise and move on, but I will not try to resuscitate or revive that which is terminal. No matter how angry or hurt I would never have said the things you said to me and I would never have used your hidden sorrows to cause you pain. See, I respected you. I felled for you. I made you part of my life. I told you things. I opened up to you. All you wanted to do was come up with stories and reasons as to why we couldn’t be, as to why we shouldn’t be, You took things that I told you in confidence and used them to hurt me on purpose. You wanted to see me in pain. There is no way I can move past that to rekindle this.

I know that you miss me and if you need to call me to express that you can but don’t call me anymore if your only motive is to cause me more distress. Acting like I never care, questioning my every move and motive. You claim to have cared for me but this is the most conditional and repressive feeling I have ever known. You want to care for me on your terms only in your way only on your time only on your say so only. You want to have me to yourself and lock me away for safekeeping and share me with no one and express your feelings to me when it is convenient for you. You want me to show you everything I got, and make you my number one priority and care for you unconditionally and always but you have no intention of giving that back. The truth is that there never was as much wrong with me as you made me think there was except that I so was blindly falling for you that I dropped all notions of rationality and logic and focus and self-dependence. I so wanted you…but you made me see.

This is my final confession. I am not accepting any comments for this one.

What you do 2 a brotha.

Heat burning
Desire spreading
Breath banging
Heart pounding
Voice begging
Knees quaking
Body shaking
Juices flowing
Balls aching
Dick hardening
Horny waiting.

Great News.

My Blog will be featured in Ted Murphy and Peter Wright's new book entitled "Inside the Blogosphere". Don't know when it's coming out but i got the notice today after recent chat with the writers. I'll keep you posted.

1 mois deja

Yo te jen
Yo te gen anpil avni
Yo te vle peyi yo avanse
Yo te goumen anpil pou initier tet yo
Yo te goumen tou pou sa yo kwe
Yo pat janm panse sa ta ka rive
Yo tap swiv yon chemin ki te tou trase
Men helas !
Hummmmm
Yon jou nou va konprann pouki.

A community in decay...crying for help!

The Haitian community is going through a lot and I don’t mean the folks in Haiti. Well, while we mustn’t ignore our brothers back in the homeland yet we are facing a lot of things out here in this foreign land. So far this year, over 5,000 of them have been deported and the ones suffering the most are the little ones they have left behind. Especially, the young lads. There is more than meets the eye in reference to our young black boys in "at risk" situations and communities. No excuses for these young men, they all must be held accountable for those irrational, illogical, peer pressured, and many times dumb decisions they make. They must understand the microscope and the pressure it brings as well as the power it can possess if utilized in the correct way. Yet we cannot ignore the fact that many of them, had their parents been here, they would have found themselves in a better situation. A little bit more guidance and parental presence.

I just had a young man "reach out" to me on myspace and all he wanted to do was have someone, preferably a Haitian male listen to him, his story, his demise, his life journey in America without his parents who have been deported since 1998. So when he asked for my number, I obliged and the first few times he called, it went to voicemail, so he wrote me on myspace asking if I am bullshiting him. While I wanted to speak to him yet I had a situation I had to deal with at home. So I didn’t have the strength to take on someone else’s problems but in the end, the kid was so adamant that I had to reach out. So when I called, he had a lot to say; He had even more that he probably wanted to say but didnt know how to get it out of him. He said a lot of things that I understood oh so well, It hasn’t been all that long ago when I was 16 years old myself. And despite things being so different growing up in the 21st century, the life of a young black male still revolves around recognition from doing well in something, acceptance from family and friends, and girls, girls, girls. All subjects were touched on by this young man. His folks were taken out of their home on a Sunday morning, his house got reposed, and he went to live with family members who mentally raped him, abused him, and neglected his needs, so he became a delinquent. Dropped out of school at 12, stole his first car, robbed liquor stores, sold dope, went to juvenile detention, and pretty much lived the life of a vagabond. He did all that and he is yet to reach the age of 17. The young man brought tears to my eyes has he explained his life story. It could have been me, I thought for a moment, had my folks been in that situation, I could have been that young man, who is out there, simply looking for acceptance, he is looking for love, all in the wrong places, yet that’s the life he knows.

I’m glad that he chose to seek me out though. I hope that I provided an extra boost of motivation to continue on his journey. Too many black boys, not enough guidance and wisdom, too many black boys, not enough understanding, encouragement, and patience, too many black boys, not enough time, respect, and love. It’s amazing to me how intelligent these young men actually are once they take off the armor. It really is a war going on. And it is imperative that we get our black boys to understand that the war within is the war worth fighting the most.

I linked up with him the other day and we met with a school counselor, and after he get tested, he should be right back in school in the fall. He turns 17 in December, so I’ll reward him with a trip to Haiti to see his folks if he can maintain a ‘B+’ in his courses. But in the mean time, he’s catching up on his reading (philosophy books), and I hope to get him to volunteer at a community center, just to re-acquaint him with things. Life is crazy ain’t it…just when I thought I had too much on my plate, this kid came a long and helped me deal with a personal situation.

Where's the l.o.v.e.?

It’s been quite a tumultuous month so far but this morning, I feel a bit refreshed. I feel good about how things are... I awake this morning in great spirits. It’s amazing to me how the things that are the most practical produce the most astonishing results. If we only knew how to believe less in outside sources and a lot more in inner strength, peace, and love.

After not having the guts to explain certain things to a particular young lady, I found myself in deep meditation. I reflected on many things that have gone wrong the past 6 months and the many things that will probably go wrong for the next 6. Who am I? Am I defined by the job title given to me by another man's company? Am I those racial expletives that many ignorant people continue to cling to in reference to the color of my skin? Am I truly a no, good, lying, cheating dog as some women choose to exclaim, and generalize due to their past experiences with a man who resembled me? Am I that man? Am I a reflection of the dope man on the corner, the pimp, the thug, and the convict? Am I the American Dream? How must the American Dream be redefined to suit the needs of each individual?

This game of life seems to be a copycat league. It’s funny how my community unites when it comes to the most irrelevant things, for example: fashion, music, partying and bulls*it, etc... But why can’t we unite when it matters most? When it comes to family, community service and safety, relationships/marriage, economics, etc... We tend to drift away.... if only I could come up with some answers. But I am in a good mood though, hoping it last the whole week.

Where's the love? Why do we watch the hate?

ML² I miss you shawty. Holla @ your boi.

Meeting with this R&B chick

So I run into this R&B chick, dark complexion, sexy ass lips, had the shape of Ms Lathan but she’s far more cuter. When she saw from behind, I could tell she was wondering if it’s really him, she had seen my face before, never in person, but as usual she would swing by MySpace to invade my space, because she thought I was someone she run to or bring over her space. So we hugged and chatted after a multitude of questions which started with, “is it really you?” and ended, “when do I see you again?”.

This chick wasn’t your typical chick, she was a true fanm, voiced her opinion and kept conversation flowing, I mean, I was game, I was all up into her not because I knew or felt she was into but I was deeply deep in the game. So into her, for those who may confuse game with game. So we talked a little bit, got upset a little, then danced a bit more, exchanged a kiss to see what’s really good. So we both was into it, she liked my kissing game and I liked hers, so we did a bit on tongue wag, and went at like some wrestlers.

In the midst of all that, we figured we’ll catch on the likes and dislikes, the favorite movies to the political crap, and we came out with this: She wanted me to deliver her from Eva, her oldest sister, and Hitch our way in holy matrimony, but then I had to run it by my Four Brothers who from afar were being so Unfaithful, so we decided to stroll over to them, boy, it was surely The Longest Yard, I’ve ever had to walk. When we got to them they were talking about Love and Basketball and how their Girlfriends were so not into sports, but they could cook up a Soul Food and Wild Out whenever their boyfriends would dub a chick as America’s next top Model.

So we left the park, main dans la main, and jetted straight to the…

Foolish

I guess when it’s your time to go, it’s JUST your time to go. Rev Wright, his wife and his grandson were coming back from a conference and the Lord decided to take 2 of them. It surely makes you wonder about your state of mind and where you’re at with Him. I mean, they were coming from church and this happened to them yet nothing happened to the robbers who got away that night, the little pedophile who violated that child, that dude who killed that old lady on her block, or even that dude who raped his own sister. I am not claiming that Rev Wright wasn’t a sinner but dang, his wife of 37 years was taken all because some fool decided to drive the wrong freaking way….I run into someone this weekend and her friends her telling her not to drink and her drive, her response was, ‘ I drink and then I drive’. Foolish ain’t it…

Just had to let this one out…

A Dream

Thoughts of you invade me on a nightly basis. At times, the images seem so vivid that I can barely convince myself that you were an apparition. My hommies call it a figment of my imagination. I choose to call it a repressed desire, better yet, a dream.

My thoughts are somewhat conflicted so forgive me if I seem harsh or aggressive. It’s not you, it’s me.

We have gone over this a trillion times before, I don’t want you, I know you want me back but the feelings will never be reciprocated. I’ve had my share of neglect and rejections, so I know how you must be feelings, but then again, you brought this on yourself. You’re the caused of your own downfall.

You requested the out, which you happily took, so in return I just need you to leave then and leave me alone while you’re at it. Do not act as if I am behind all this as if it was my idea from the jump. Maybe you expected me to fight harder but then again why fight for something that is supposedly genuine? You shrugged off your shoulders and left as if it was the news of the year. So I need you to take that news and run with it.

Don’t be calling me with your problems, who told you I was Dr. Phil? If you need help just dial 9-1-1; I know you think that I chose her over you. It wasn’t the case at all. You presented an opportunity; I analyzed, strategized, and dealt with it. Now why all the fuss?

Why would I want to holla back?

Just stay out of my nightly thoughts. How else am I supposed to get this money for the toydrive tour?

Pissing me off people

If you’re not ready to read this rant, just go back to whatever you were doing because this one has gotten me very upset. Let me start out by saying these:

1) No one is perfect.
2) Everyone has some kind of secret (lie), something personal about themself that keep hidden from the world (lie), and
3) Everyone LIES!

I'm 27 years old and I'm still learning the lessons, I'm still trying to figure it out, I'm still trying to make sense of it all but I think I keep it real 99% of the times…

So....

I go to my office the other day and I hear something about a coworker that made me want to throw up! The bad part is this is the second time. For the purpose of this entry, I’ll call her H.

H isn’t a bit more saved than me, but this is the same woman who is debating and trying to preach the bible to everybody in the company. The woman always got something to say; and I mean, ALWAYS. Let me stick in here she’s not married. She and I don’t talk anymore because I've ALWAYS seen pass her veil of shadyness and I stopped talking to her a long time ago, but before we stopped talking she preached to me about this guy she met and how he was a child molester but she forgave him because God told her to and as time revealed she did become involved with this guy. But every guy this woman links up with, it’s always for a very short period of time.

Well how come this same, single, unmarried so-called woman of God is pregnant....again!!?!???!

Like I said at the beginning: No one is perfect. But how can she go around preaching and telling everyone how to do something and what not to do and yet she’s having UNPROTECTED sex and she’s not even married! (Hypocrisy)

Like I said: Everyone is hiding something; She hides the fact that she’s sleeping with a child molester but damn! Use a condom at least!

Like I said: Everyone Lies. Her secret/lie is that she’s a lesbian. It’s not so much a lie as it is a secret however. As I've made evident, people’s personal lives are a major topic in my company. But damn, she isn’t lying to anyone but herself so what’s the point of all those sermons!

Now I'll explain why that makes me so mad.

I remember when I lived at home and my grandma(RIP) would come to visit, we couldn’t get her to go to church with us because she didn’t trust church people. The problem is, she hung around the people who claimed to be of God, but were still sinning. They were, in their terms "Not perfect and still subject to mistakes." So thanks to those people, (AND the demon residing in my grandma soul), the woman just wouldn’t go to church. So H makes me mad because she’s just like these people who go around preaching go to God, go to God, and yet when you turn your back on them their no different/no better then anyone else. People look to her as an example and THIS is the example she sets. And also those people are the same ones questioning every little thing that you do and I hate that with a passion.

Like I said I've always known about her. So I shouldn’t be surprised but Goddanm, this is the second time this heffa got knocked up. She needs something to permanently keep her legs close until she find a husband because the minute she spreads her legs, she gets pregnant.

And this entry is for you and YOU. Stop preaching to me when I know you ain’t righteous. If you’re a Christian and you want to bone, go right ahead and bone. But don’t be telling none Christians they can’t bone because it’s ugly in the Lord’s eye.

Live and learn. That’s my motto. Truthfully, what’s yours? You fake ass Christian.