Being a rebel...

Sometimes I wish I could just pick up the phone and call you. Sometimes I wish when you called I wouldn’t just ignore the phone as if you’re worthless. In fact, I love you like no other woman. I’ve always loved you even though at times it is hard to express yet you’ll always be my one true love. I am not sure what it is but maybe my rage and anger is too much for me at times to withstand. I know you mean well so I am not going to fight you but I think it’s time you take a look at me and treat me like I matter to you. You value me when I am not there maybe because it boosts your ego as if you were the one guiding me through this journey. You talk about me like no other yet what happen to expressing your thoughts to the one you love. See, too often Christian let their beliefs interfere with their personal relationships and at times it can be devastating. Imagine a son who’s crying out his heart to his parents yet they’re not trying to understand, they’re unable to understand because they’ve been brainwashed by these pastors and fake prophets and ultimately this poor kid overdose on some drugs. If only someone had paid him attention, if only huh.

You also have those parents who can’t seem to let the kid get a word in during conversation so the child end up letting everyone runs all over him and ultimately leads to his demise. I agree there has to be a limit when it comes to parents and children relationship yet how do we decide where to draw the line. Do you just sit back, force the kid to attend Sunday masses, dictate his every move, and enabled him to develop his social skills.

I am a rebel. I’ve always been rebellious. I refused to let my parents chain me. So now it’s hard to pick the phone to even place a call to my mother because my theories and perception of life is different from hers. I used to think that my mother and her husband were ignorant because they wanted to restrict me but as I got older I grew to understand their parental methods and although I don’t approve it, I commend them for the job they’ve done with their kids.

I know they’re proud of me and my accomplishments yet I’ve never heard them say wow, Blake, you’ve done well. Yet whenever I stop by their church, the members know everything that I’ve been doing and they tell me how much of a joy I am to my mom and step dad. I guess through other parties I’ve found out how they feel about me but isn’t it their obligation to kind of let me know how they feel? I guess that’s parents for you, so until then, when that phone rings, I am not going to kill myself and answer it. Yet I got mad love for you mom.

Rebellious son…

Why is it so HARD to get some NOOKIE

I've got this hommie, who is arguably the most negative dude in the world. Hommie knew me in high school, and because he’s Haitian, I’d let him sit at my lunch table, give him free passes to my soccer games, and sometimes I’ll even hook him up with one of my groupies. You got to realize that in high school girls would gravitate towards anyone who was popular or simply because you dress nice or you’re good at a sport, etc. But they wouldn’t give you the time of day if you were JUST a smart dude. It’s like being smart isn’t part of the picture. Being SMART has no rewards except a good education and a good job. If being smart is all you had going for you at my high school, you weren’t getting no play, unless you knew one of the studs/jocks. So this dude happen to know me but when I hook him up with chicks, I always hear bad stories like…stinky feet (pye mayas), stinky arm pits, bad breath (dyol santi), and worst of all, can’t hold a conversation. But I did let him chill with me so he can learn from a true giant. So it’s been 7 years since high school and I can't stand to talk to this dude man. He's 27 years old, had good grades but was to dumb to apply to any colleges until he was 3 years removed from high school, has made a mess of his life, has messed up relationships with every girl he comes in contact with, and worst of all still can’t get some nookie.

So how did I found out, huh??? Well, homeboi sent me a friend request on Myspace and I tend to check out everybody’s page before I approve a friend request. So here I am on this dude’s page and I’m reading his bio…First off this homeboi’s name, threw me off (single for life)…WTF kind of shit is that??? So I am reading the bio and it reads like this

“””MY NAME IS xxxx,I WANT TO BE SINGLEFORLIFE BECAUSE I HAVENT HAD GIRLFRIEND SINCE 13 YEARS AGO. I GOT 15 REJECTIONS AND NO GIRLS LIKE ME.IM ALWAYS LONELY LIKE MR. LONELY BECAUSE I HAVE NOBODY. I GO TO MALL ALONE AND GO TO MOVIE ALONE. I NEVER GO TO HOMECOMING DANCE IN HIGH SCHOOL AND I NEVER WENT TO THE PROM DANCE. AND I HAVE NOBODY I NEVER KISS AND IM VIRGIN, SO I WILL STAY SINGLEFORLIFE.””””

And to top it off homeboi got Akon’s lonely playing in the background…

Sometimes I don't think I can continue to communicate with him. He’s always talking about his problems and I am like dude, I am not a social worker nor a psychologist…Go see a shrink or something.

Plus, he has pissed me off by hanging up on me when he doesn't like what I tell him....What it is is that I don't tell him what he wants to hear! He has a history of doing that...He'll hang up on me. Then, wait several weeks before calling me again, and he'll act like nothing ever happened.. He won't even mention his hanging up on me...Just move right along.....

Earlier in the week, he asked me if I was coming home for my ex girlfriend’s wedding, so I told him ‘no’ because I wasn’t invited. Plus, why would I go to her wedding. Haven’t seen this chick since high school and don’t know what made this boy think I’d just fly up to DC for some cheap ass soda. And then he said I should fly him to FL so he can finally get laid… (maybe this dude knows something I don’t. Had no idea FL was a pussy haven) But yo man, this dude’s got "issues." And, what is even sadder is that he's 27 years old with no direction in his life.

But I tell you this, I am going to help him get laid and then drop hiss ass…Even the big chubakka mofos be getting some play from Myspace…so I am going to coach this dude man. What do you folks think…should I help his old grumpy stinky ass get some pussy…it’s not like I am getting any myself but I’m a humanitarian, I am the people’s man…so you decide…if y’all think I should then I will… lol…

Careless and inconsiderate people on the dag-on phone!!!!

If I hit you up on the phone to check up on ya and I proceed to ask, "Did I hit you up at a bad time?"---don’t mess with me and say, "No, you didn't."--But, then, 2 minutes later, you put me on HOLD to have a conversation with your girls, your kids, brothers, sisters, baby daddy, boyfriend and everybody else who’s at your spot....I forbid you for taking me granted and arguing with your relatives about food, water, juice, who did this and that etc… while I am on the phone. At least you should have the decency to put me on MUTE, but when you do happen to come back on the line and I’m able to ask perhaps I should hit you up later, don’t tell me it’s not a problem man because it is. At least for me.

My peoples, I know I am a busy dude but it’s ok to say B, let me hit you back because by keeping me on the phone you’re wasting my freaking time. I understand that things happen at times and you start a conversation and boom, the door bell ring, or kids are crying, or hubby wants to act up. Next time, just say, B, we’re gonna have to catch up later because I have to tend to some in-house mess.

You dig. Because next time any of y’all do that to me, I am hanging up. And don’t bother calling me back too because I am a pro at IGNORING/REJECTING/ & POWERing OFF that dag-on phone.

Still got love for ya though…lol

So forgive me...

So ok, I am entering the prime of my life and day by day I am learning a lot more about myself and my environment. This year has been somewhat lopsided in terms of meaningful events yet I’ve learned so much. I’ve been able to delve deep within myself and carefully analyze my every steps. But before I take this very next step, I am going to apologize to you and you. Yes, you, the future ladies that I am going to meet. The future professional women, baby mamas, model type, cyberspace friends that will grill me about my life, my likes and dislikes, my goals, my five and ten year plan. I am sorry but I will probably not be able to share any of those things with you. See, in order for me to completely open up to you, I must learn to trust you, meaning I will have to metamorphosise into an ‘all women are not the same’ type of guy and that’s not going to happen anytime soon. So, before we proceed any further, I really want you to understand that I don’t need you to bombard me with a whole bunch of questions about my life, my pasts, or my plans. Now, I am more than willing to talk politics, music, black community, America, and everything else. But I need you to give up on the fact that you believe you can change me. That’s not going to happen lady, so stop it.

In case I happen to take you out on a date, I need you to know that I am going to be a gentleman but the minute you flip the script on me, I am going to bounce. I need you to just let me be, let me grow to like you and eventually we might have something. You dig. So ladies, let’s take it slow, one kiss at a time ok. I need you to follow my directions that’s why I offer my deepest and most sincere apology to you and you…now will you forgive me when I can’t tell you why I don’t believe in love anymore, so let me make it easy for you…How can she love thee yet is carrying someone else’s kid? Will you believe me when I can’t tell you exactly why it’s painful to trust women? Well once again, let me make it easy for you, the feeling of being lied to and manipulated and having to find out through a magazine that your supposed girlfriend was dating another man. Will you forgive me when I refuse to open up about my past relationships??? Will you forgive me when I tell you that I cannot trust you…just because…I know you will oppose so just in case you happen to read this blog entry, expect the moment, prepare your reaction, so that you will be able to forgive me when I tell you…

TBD…thanks for the inspiration…

t'es une copine superbe...

My dose of reality is deep. On this very day, I realized who and what is important to me. My friendships that have been attained these past few years are seriously priceless to me. I have a lot of hommies, we catch up here and there but nothing serious. But this once chick, I definitely consider her a friend. She and I we met on the net. But the minute we met, it was just a match. She and I had a lot in common and when I needed to vent she was always there not only to listen but to offer some type of advice. She never made me feel like I was wasting her time. In actuality, she and I have seen each other only once but we catch up on a weekly basis. We’re always on the text, IM, e-mail etc.

In the past, I’ve never really been able to maintain friendships with women simply because things would get out of hands. Feelings would develop and next thing you know, we’re boning, and then the friendship is messed up for good. But nah, not this one. This chick and I, the only boning that’s gonna take place is if she and I are sucking on some chicken bones together. Other than that, we’re good. We know where we stand and the love we have developed for each other is genuine. I have a few important folks in my life but this chick, whenever I decide to get married or have a girlfriend; she’s going to remain part of my life. Wifey’s gonna have to understand that she and I are a special package and hopefully wifey will develop a friendship with her too so that we’re all on the same level.

Shawty, I know I don’t be expressing feelings to you but hope you know that you’re my shawty for life. Always going to remain special and hopefully soon we’ll get to kick it with each other. We’re running close to five years now and can’t wait to multiply that. I know you’re under a lot of stress with your mother being sick and sister acting up but I got your back love. Now, all you gotta do is find you a dude so you can leave them fingers alone…lol…J

Dom, you’re SPECIAL. t'es une copine superbe. I love you so incredibly much!!

Old shit...

It’s thanksgiving and for the first time ever since I can remember, I am spending it alone..so I guess I am going to be writing all day…this one is for you ok… my special ghost reader…

so I met this woman, who for the first time in my life I felt was a spiritual match, but then turned out to she had feelings for another guy and wanted to cut things off with me... What do you say when your heart is so far gone into this person and they just want to be friends with you and THAT'S IT..... Would I be immature or mature if I got upset and yelled and cursed her out? It's funny as I sit here and think about this. I took the calm way out for the 1st time in my life. I was calm about everything and was actually very mature… imagine being nice about this ..lol.

Well I have.

Well, not really.

My heart is still with her, although I really miss the person I met and had those great times by the look out water with. I don't miss who she turned into, denying everything that was told me, making me feel as though every kiss was a lie... how do you handle that.
Imagine the thought of feeling that you don't know this person anymore; imagine thinking that you never knew this person to begin with.

What does life teaches you when you make these mistakes?
Why is it so important to follow your Gut feeling and not your heart?
Exactly how does this teach you to appreciate a GOOD woman?
Why is it you get the thoughts of what did you do wrong, when all you did was be yourself?

shit on my mind...

I find myself all alone driving through the streets at nights
Thinking about everything ranging from women to my open rights
It’s crazy how people, hommies, family, and acquaintances can be
Whatever they think everyone else is, so you see
I have been trying my very best but never the less
whatever it is that I do, my strides can’t pass this test

It’s been so long yet I still can’t sleep at night
Its like an eagle that can't take its flight
My thoughts of you are true
But the memories have become so very blue
I wanted you to take me as I am
but you just had to leave and find you a new glam

I know at times I didn’t try so hard
In my defense, I felt like it didn’t matter and everything would become some dug up yard
Is it really so demanding
For you to just be standing
I thought you were someone else
but now all I see is every other person that you never seemed to be
Everything ends now because I have no more thought of you
Your ass was blown away in the last gust of wind that made me say
Someone else will never fade away.....

Weird indeed!!!!

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Deportation

As I perused the daily news wires, I came across a story that touched me profoundly. It is about Haitian families who was recently deported and were forced to leave their US born children alive. Upon arriving to Port-au-Prince, the capital of Haiti, one of the world's poorest and unsafe countries, this family was left stranded on the streets with no clothes, no food, no money, and I am wondering, why is this? How come the US government didn't grant them a chance to get their stuff? It is an injustice and someone needs to interfere...

I was on this website and they posed this question:

"""" Is your parent to be blame? This is the question I need you folks to think and answer to the best of your capability.

This morning while watching TV, the topic was "your parent to be blame". I understand that each of us has our own personality and usually it is base on our environment and the way we grow up.

Base on the study from the TV show a psychologist found that it is our parent to blame. Because we were raised base on our parents ego and what they want in life. It is also our perception that we will grow up to be what our parents expect us to be; if there's one thing I need no citation or research to prove, it's that our parents have done a pretty horrendous job bringing us up. Yet, I still feel that my failure in life have a lot to do with my parents, just for the fact that while I was growing up, they were my only idol, I had no interest on anyone else. So who should we blame if we feel that we failed in life again of course they’re the one to praise for if we feel that we have accomplish what we really want in life.The situation is very complex but unique base on my experience I believe that our parents can be blame only if we have failed however we can really justify our failure if we feel that we are successful.

Please I want to hear your inputs and your judgment will also appreciate.""""

So here is my response....please comment if you agree or disagree...

While the parents should shoulder some blame yet I feel that the individual himself/herself should take some of that blame for the way they turn out. There are a lot of children who have done great things in life without the support or guidance of their parents. We cannot blame our parents for everything when there’s so much on their plates that they cannot focus all their energies on their children.

It’s like when a kid does something, the first question the community asks is, “where was this kid’s parents?” But parents don't have the luxury of hindsight, all they can do is their best and hopefully it is enough. As young adults who have yet to go through the pain and labor of raising kids, we need to have compassion for the complexity of being a parent and the struggle that parents have, especially if it’s a single parent who’s working 2 jobs to maintain a shelter. Keep in mind that at some point we did things that our parents didn't want us to do;

We cannot neglect the facts folks, from the age of 4-18 a lot of kids spend most of their time outside of the house, meaning they’re either at a daycare, school, or their bedroom sleeping. So, shouldn’t the daycare centers and the teachers take the role of de facto parents while these kids are with them? Your teachers are the ones who aid with the transition from Elementary, Middle, and High school to college while your parents help with the transition from a boy or girl to a man or woman. So like the saying states, it takes a whole village to raise a child. Your parents can be your role models but that doesn’t mean everything they do is in compliance with ‘the right way’ to do things.

I have always maintained that I was on my own role model simply because I like to do things my way and use my failures as guidance. I am not saying that I don’t have heroes or anything like that, I try to use those folks as motivators (MLK, Martin Luther, Gandhi, Cassius Clay, the boat people, Michael Jordan, etc).
How can you say your parents did a horrendous job raising you when they had to work two jobs to pay for the home that you slept in, the food you ate, the clothes you were wearing, the school supplies they purchased, the travel expenses they couldn’t afford yet still found a way to pay them, the presents they gave you etc…I know one can argue that it is their responsibilities to provide for you yet many parents don’t go beyond their means to provide for their children.

I, regardless of my relationship with my folks, will never blame them for anything and it’s not due to any type of success that I have enjoyed thus far. I just feel/believe that they did all they could to provide me a great life even when they themselves never had a great life. They went beyond their means to make sure that I had a great education, they showed interest in my social life, they guided me morally, and even when I was to blame for failing my Micro Econ class, they helped me understand that maybe going into business wasn’t the right thing for me… so I cannot blame them for anything.

So I guess, the next question would be, to what degree do we blame our parents for our failures?

Gone too soon little man

They say the idea is to die young as late as possible but little man you left us too early. As I sit back and reminisce on the good old times that we shared. The many times I made you laugh, the many times you wanted to say something but the words couldn’t come out, the many times you wanted to ask me for my name, who I am, and why I keep coming to see you every Thanksgiving. Truth be told, I wanted you to talk to me. Sometimes I needed you to say something, to let me know if you’re enjoying my visit or if you like the books that I try to read to you. Sometimes I wondered if you could feel my love, my touch, my reason for being with you. So it’s November again and I am making plans to come back to Beantown to see you. I wanted to bring you something special this year, so I have been racking my brain trying to find the perfect gift for a little man who is unable to speak, unable to walk on his own, and have never lived at home. I must admit, this year has been tough for me but given that it’s our annual date, I wasn’t going to miss it kid.

My heart stopped when my uncle told me you were gone. It took me a few minutes to really put that into perspective. Everyone is shocked kid. I thought this final surgery would have set you free; you would have been able to come to FL and hang out with your big cousin. We would have had mad fun. I bet you would have wanted to stay with me for good, you would have loved them Florida girls kid. Now, I must retract and fly to Boston to pay my respect, to say good bye to a friend, to an amigo who has never said a word to me. No one can confidently say that he will still be living tomorrow and so I guess if I make it to the weekend we will see each other for one last time.

Hope you know that I will still keep my end of the bargain; I will be in Boston every thanksgiving. Max, Didi, and Leon are going to miss you. Hope you know they talked about you all the time. Whenever I checked in with them, they always had a story to tell. You were loved my dear cousin, you will always be loved, and I will never forget you. Our relationship was special and you will always be special to me. Your father asked me to give the eulogy, truthfully kid, I don’t know what to say. I guess you would want me to speak from the heart, right? I will do my best; I will share our story with the people. A story that started with the “The Very Hungry Caterpillar”, I still remember how you were moved by the pictures. I am going to miss you kid. I know the pain is over, 12 long years with the same old stuff. I love you Dan.
In the words of Marcus Aurelius, “Death is a release from the impressions of sense, and from impulses that make us their puppets, from the vagaries of the mind, and the hard service of the flesh.”

R.I.P. Daniel Mascary

Enjoy these tracks

Here are some of the stuff i am really feeling right now

Sex and relationships...no correlation

The way I look at it, if I have sex with a woman that I don’t know or don’t care about, sex isn’t going to make me care. Me having sex with this woman is like scratching an itch. This goes for every man, once he scratches, he’s through. Many of us don’t be sitting around thinking about the woman or how good the sex was. We just move on with our lives until we get that urge again or until we meet someone else who’s willing to help us rid that itch. For many dudes, as long as they get rid of that itch, that’s all that matters.

A lot of women out there think they can handle a sexual relationship or a sex fling, but they end losing sight of things and wanting these men to romance, wine and dine them when in truth it was nothing but a piece of ass to us. Ladies, stop pretending, it was nothing but a booty call.

So who’s the to blame? Well, in my experiences, the guy most of the time take the brunt of the blame but ladies keep in mind that you are sadly part of our problem. You invite me in wayyyy before you got to know me, so we end up sleeping with each other without you knowing what my last name is, my job title, my hobbies, etc. You never care to ask what I am about, what I bring to the table and or if I am even taken. Boning me doesn’t mean that we have a ‘relationship’. I know there are plenty of ladies out there who are shaking their head as they read this but you know I ain’t lying.

Another thing that gets to me is the many women who marry men who were cheating prior to the engagement or walking the down isle and these women are astonished that a fancy wedding dress or an luxurious wedding didn’t change this man’s perspective. Ladies, why would he change? In what world are you living in? You allow this brother to get away with it from the go and you accepted his marriage proposal, so you think he was going to change all of a sudden? You must be out of your freaking mind. You need to stop rewarding us for our unfaithful ways by pretending it ain’t happening.

Like my father told me not too long ago, not all black men cheat but I cheated and I know many men who didn’t cheat on their woman. I personally, I don’t cheat. I’ll admit, I am big flirt but I know not to take it too far or cross the line. I wouldn’t openly disrespect my woman by flirting with another woman in her presence. But I tell you this, a lot of men cheat because there no real penalties. My thing is, ladies, stop jumping into bed with brothers you barely know. Just because he’s cute or he’s driving a nice car, doesn’t mean you’re supposed to lay there and let him penetrate you. But if you do let that happen, please don’t complain when he doesn’t return your phone call the next day. If you give a man fewer opportunities to cheat then you will probably live a sane life. Be sure to ask the important questions that would reveal his true essence. Stop worrying the material things and focus more on his inner self, openly help him talk about his past relationships, his misfortunes, his ways and how he got to be that way.

To my all my Haitians ladies reading this, stop thinking you got the bomb pussy. If you had the bomb pussy then why did he cheat on you? If it was so good then why did he leave you for your best friend? If a man dogged his ex out, rest assure you are next on his list. Read the signs ladies. I am telling y’all. You are not an interpreter, so stop interpreting what a man says to fit your rationales. If a man tell you he isn’t looking for anything serious, please take him at his word. Stop thinking once you put it on him, he’s going to stick around. In fact, why do you think he isn’t looking for anything serious to begin with? Ladies, are your ears glued the fuck shut? Men don’t have to lie when women tend to be deaf. Bottom line is, if you can’t answer basis questions about me, don’t spread your legs.

See another thing is, a lot of women are afraid to be alone. They refuse to take the time to get to know a brother and they complain that he was the one who pressured them into having sex. Bottom line ladies, if we like you, there’s nothing that’s going to keep us away. We’re sticking around, regardless. But if you happen to just sleep with a man after you just met him, please keep your expectations at zero. We do not owe you a relationship or another date just because you had sex with us. That's not how it works, baby. You’re responsible for your sexual behavior, so stop blaming the man, it won’t change a thing.

Listen up ladies, sex does not = a relationship, a man will not respect a woman who does not respect herself or her body, if you trade sex for material things you are prostituting yourself, if he doesn't take care of his other children why would you have a baby with him? if you reward a dog why should men stop being dogs? You have to bring more to the table than your body. No your pussy is not made of gold. It is only as good as I think it is.

Ladies, you have to raise your standards if you expect us man to do it. Stop taking the easy way out and elevate your game.


PS: This piece was inspired by this other piece one of my colleagues forwarded m

The New Plague

Unfortunately there’s a new disease plaguing the Haitian community and it can very well destroy many families if the right precautionary measures are not taken. Lately there have been a surmountable number of domestic violence cases in the Haitian community and some of them have even resulted in death. A pastor killed his wife and her lover after finding out she was having an affair. There are multiple cases reported daily in Boston, New York City, Miami and other metropolitan cities with large Haitian communities. The number of reported domestic violence cases in the Haitian community has doubled according to published reports. Haitian women are being victimized and abused and authorities feel that most of the abuse has gone unnoticed primarily because of the immigration status of the victims, language barrier and lack of resources.

The latest trend in the Haitian community is for the men to travel back to their homeland to find a homegrown wife with homegrown values. These women are usually expected to be subservient in values and domesticated once they arrive in the US. Due to the language barrier these women usually have to submit to their husbands and are expected to follow all orders. The prisons are now being filled with Haitian men because of domestic violence and most of the time these men find themselves facing deportation after serving their sentences. This problem has gone unnoticed for too long because Haitian society doesn’t protect the rights of women. The cases are usually reported when neighbors get involved and the police are called.

Another common practice in the Haitian community is that these men would sometimes travel back to Haiti with their wives to physically discipline them because there are no laws in place to prosecute these men for beating their wives. As a kid, it was not unusual to witness many women get beat by their husbands as law enforcement officials in Haiti stood by and did nothing. To add to the burden of the women’s predicament, the abusers sometimes also try to manipulate the women into thinking that their livelihood depends on the fact that the husband has to file the legal papers for them to obtain permanent legal status in this country. These women, most of the time, suffer alone as survival is usually their only option. Not to say that all Haitian men are doing this, but there have been too many cases of domestic abuse reported in the Haitian community.

Since professional counseling is not really part of Haitian culture, this continues to be a burgeoning problem as these men find it hard to adapt socially sometimes in a progressive society. To add to that, the machismo state of mind all too often force these men to go to extreme measures to end the life of their spouse altogether. This problem also involves women abusing men, but only in rare cases.

Many of these women suffer in silence due to their inability to speak English and the lack of knowledge about the resources available to them. It is also a cultural shame for Haitian men to be handcuffed. So these women are overly careful with their actions because they never want to embarrass their husband in an unforgiving way. The Haitian community needs to reach out to these victims and educate them about the laws in the United States that protect them and that domestic abuse is not acceptable in this country. Also, these men need to understand that domestic violence affects the whole family, including the innocent children who sometimes have to endure the same pain and abuse that their mother have to suffer.

The psychological affect on the family sometimes can be so severe that a repeated cycle is created for generations to come. The assimilation process for the Haitian Diaspora seem to pose a threat to what they believe are “traditional Haitian values.” These values are the some of the reasons why the country is in its current state. In order for us to have a better Haiti, the rights of all people have to be protected and women especially need to have a stronger voice for the prosperity of all Haitians.