Beaute Creole (the trial) Part 3

I am such a reflective individual and when it comes to personal relationships, I tend to be a lit weird at times. People would call it PMSing but I prefer to call it, trial day. On the day of the trial is when I am extra mellow, brief and impassive. It drives people crazy and it’s not something that I consciously do, it’s a reflection of whatever negative thing that you either did or said during that day or the previous night. Trial day usually lasts no more than 24 hours and it’s filled with a lot of questions, misinterpretations, different scenarios and some type of uncertainty.

It has now been a month and here I find myself on this big ol bed, I lie awake, thinking of this woman, her smell, her smile, her passion for life, her devotion to her family, her profession, to me, and I was missing her. A lot more than I would actually admit to her. See, she just went out of town. She’s in New York for the weekend to meet up with her best friend and she’s expecting to meet with an old flame for a late night dinner, and while she has re-assured me that nothing was going on, yet, like any other man would do, I started to fabricate a story in my head. See ladies, it’s a lot easier for a man to deal with a situation if he can make up a story in his head that makes sense to him and his friends. It’s a lot easier to deal with and to a certain extent it allows him to relax and be a bit free spirited for however long as he wants. My first question was why is she meeting with an old flame if there’s no relationship? Why are they still talking or better yet, why has she flown a thousand miles to see this man? But then again, she did try to sugarcoat it by giving this extensive explanation. Like all my frat brothers, that gibberish came in one ear and out the other. I wasn’t buying it but I pretended as if I did because I didn’t want any argument. I hate arguing over dumb stuff, especially when it’s over another dude. I am a hot commodity so you can either be straight with me or be replaced.

It’s Saturday morning and my head is going crazy, I am tormented inside, I know I shouldn’t have anything to worry about but I don’t really know this woman like that, I don’t really know what she’s capable of, so I wasn’t going to be a fool and let her play with my emotions like that. Like 2pac said, my mama ain’t raise no fool. So I turned off my phone and started to make some plans for the evening. I wanted to be just as engaged as she was for this day. It’s lunch time now, so I turned my phone back on, there was no messages from her, so I am like ok, I am not going to call or text (I love texting), I am just gonna get dress, go to my favorite store (barnes and nobles) and catch up on my reading. I landed upon this book by Laura Schlessinger,a hot shot Columbia grad who’s been making a lot of noise in the entertainment world. She wrote this book called “ten things women do to mess up their lives”. I swear this book didn’t help my situation but I kept on reading it. It took me 2 hours to finish it up but the book talked about a lot of things in terms of women’s behavior, attitude, and decision-making. While the author illustrated some good points yet it didn’t help my thinking. It has now been 18 hours since I last spoke to FAC and her not calling didn’t help her situation or any argument she could come up with.

I left the book store and headed back home, it was getting a little bit dark, so I needed to eat something before I could consume any alcohol, so I got in, whipped on some fish and fried plantain (I love fish), watch ESPN, and then pulled out my bottle of Babancourt. It was about 9pm when she finalled called me and said, “sorry I didn’t call sooner. I forgot to bring my charger and I just got back from the mall and I bought a new one to call you.” My response was “ok. Cool.” She said she was gearing up to meet with her ex-beau, I said cool, I’ll be going hitting the club scene and I would speak to her at my earliest convenience. (very important rebuttal) So I called my dudes and we went out to H2O that night. Fresh cut, fresh clothes, new jewelry (courtesy of my homie in NJ), and new cologne. I was on point. I swear you could have just plastered my poster all up on GQ magazine. I was THE Next Top Model. So, we did our customary thing, got in, went to the VIP, ordered a couple of bottles, and simply living it up. Educated black dudes, no women hanging on us, good conversation, waiting for the alcohol to kick in so we can get the party started. While it may seem like I am enjoying myself, deep inside I was dying. I ain’t Omar Epps, so I wasn’t in too deep, but my heart was in tears. It was Déjà vu all over again and this time around I vowed I wouldn’t be the sucker. So I got my babancourt on and around 2am, my boy Ish brought some fine looking shawties to the table. They spoke in unison and blatantly told us what they wanted to do with us. So we got on the dance floor, got our two step on, one of tem had me leaning back like Fat Joe, but like Jagged Edge, I wanted to trade it all.

Feeling disturbed, drunk and extremely upset, I told the guys that I would call it a night. So I got in a cab and went home. She called me the next day around 2 in the afternoon, so I told her I was busy watching golf so I would call her later once the round is over. So she started texting and asking me if everything was ok, I ignored her text for a couple of hours, and then I responded and said, I have visitors, so lets catch up once she’s gone. Her response was, “it’s like that?”, well I said, ask yourself that.

So the next day, I had to be at work early in the AM, she called to ask if I could pick her up at the airport, I flat out told her no and that I had a lot on my plate, so hopefully she can catch a ride home and I’ll try to reach her when my schedule permits. Of course I could have picked her up but at that moment, I didn’t have in it. I didn’t want to see her and by the way she acted that weekend, it made me uncomfortable, so I needed to put her on trial for a minute. So I pretty much told her I was going out of town and that I was going to link up with some old friends and I’ll see her when I get back the following week. That messed her mind up. Not even Alex Hitch could help her with that one. I flipped the switch, put my foot down, and wanted to teach her a valuable lesson in relationships. Especially one as fresh and new as ours. So the whole time I was out of town, she was texting telling me how much she missed me, how she can’t wait to kiss and hug me, I wasn’t really buying it. I responded when I felt like it and ignored the phone calls. My reasoning was, I left my charger at home, so I was sharing one with one of my mates. Lol.

I knew that I didn’t want to drive her out of my life through my actions so I played it safe. I text her when I knew she was asleep, so that she couldn’t call me to talk. I figured that she and I would have a long talk upon my return. So I’m about to catch my flight home and I’ll be sure, God willing, to holla when I touchdown.

To be continued…