So i reflect...

So I spent the weekend celebrating my 27th birthday. While I wanted to spend it with friends and family yet there was this one special individual missing. Wish you could have been there but then again it is what it is. Ok, so I am 27, big deal. Yes, I know that I’m younger than you thought and that you have children older than me. I must say, this one was different. I am still trying to respond to the 500+ myspace messages and the many e-mails that were sent. I am grateful to all the folks who thought of me on my bday. Whether you sent a card, an email, a text, or a myspace message, I appreciate the gesture. Real talk.

So giving that the tickets were a special bday gift, I had my weekend well planned out, until my guys intervened. They threw me a lavish party and the turn out was nice. A couple of nice gifts, lot of my former classmates, teammates from my soccer days, frat brothers, my HU and MSU sistaz came through, it was cool. I pretty much sat the whole night, just pondering on different things, writing on my phone, I must have written 20 blog entries, which I will probably share throughout the year.
I got some pretty cool gifts though. One of my HU sistaz got me a Rebecca St James CD (you gotta listen to her folks, she’s on point…I met her while doing an internship at a Christian radio station, and she cool peeps) I also got a Fred Hammond CD, got a couple of cool t-shirts, an expensive watch, an autograph jersey, a pair of shades, and a few tickets to a couple of basketball, baseball, and musical events. So I am excited. Of course, there’s one gift that I am not going to mention, but it was nice. Real nice.

So I tend to get quite reflective and maybe even a little morose on the milestone days of the year: birthday, New Years and so on. My birthday was no different; I actually had more on my mind on this date and for various reasons. While I lead a happy life yet sometimes people try to fuck things up just because you’ve made a mistake here and there. I am no saint, I will not have a day observed in my name, I will continuously make mistakes but the best thing about is that my mistakes are never repeated. I learn quickly and move on. There is some strange kink in my personality that keeps me always looking forward. I am always wondering what is coming up around the next bend. When I examine my life I am far more likely to wonder what I will be than to reflect on what I have become. I’m not sure if this is a good or a bad thing, but at least some good has come of it. It allows me to look forward to getting older. I know that by this time next year I will have read another fifty or one hundred books and will have studied another few hundred chapters of the Bible. While I still have my issues with the church yet I am constantly learning my Bible, and while this may be shocking to you, I grew up in the church, singing, praising the Lord and asking him to just do whatever he wishes with me. I am thankful for my step-dad and my mother though. They always made sure that I knew how important God was and whether or not I was in church, they wanted to make sure that I had the right foundation to succeed.

Earlier this week I finished reading Rediscovering God’s Love by Frank Allred, get a copy if you get a chance, Frank is this Anglican minister and he got a lot of things to say. Time and time again I marveled at his wisdom knowing that much of this wisdom has come by virtue of age. Of course age has also brought him physical infirmity and much sorrow. But oh, for that wisdom! Increasingly I find myself looking forward to being that wise, knowing full well that with it must come many things that are far less wonderful. Yet I am sure a man like Allred counts these as but a light affliction in comparison to the riches of wisdom. So I will just be for now and just trust.

I also had a chance to look at my extra-curricular activities and my involvements with many organizations and the Creole hip hop movement. What I have come to realize is, I am doing exactly what I like to do. I enjoy the charity work and I don’t do it because I need to build my character, I actually enjoy seeing a smile on a kid’s face. I have a lot of personal stories that I wish not to post on my blog (my journal is gonna make a lot of fortunes someday, so feel bless that I am sharing these stories with you…for free…lol). While in Haiti last week, my guys and I were not allowed to go anywhere by ourselves, but we had an opportunity to walk down this one block and there was this lady, in her mid 30’s, she was dirty, and sitting there begging for 1 Haitian gourdes, no one paid her any mind as she continuously asked for just one gourdes so she can buy something to eat. As we’re passing by, I really had no Haitian money in my pocket, so I felt bad that I would have to walk away from this woman and not give her a penny; it dawn on me that this woman have probably been eating dirt for the past few days and probably have never had a decent meal, so I reached in my wallet, and gave her a bill. While it may have been a big deal to her but to me it was a simple act of kindness, which I have been doing all of my life. 2 days later, I saw this woman again, and this time she was well groomed, and while still asking for money, she was looking a lot better. She’s somebody’s mother, could have been my own…

I suppose I have reached the conclusion that I still have a lot of becoming ahead of me. As a human being, I have a long way to go in trying to be like Christ. I look forward to improving in each and every area of my life and I know that God will continue to bless me and allow me to do things for others. I’m not where I thought I’d be when I reached 27 (I am ahead of schedule), but you know, I’m pretty happy with where I am. Its so cliché, but I feel like I have so much ahead of me. There are so many exciting things happening in the world and so many opportunities to help people learn. I’m glad to have my place in all of it, at least until things change again and I go off on my next adventure.

As for my love life, who knows, I just need you to not read too much into me flirting with people. I would like for you to believe that you’re the only one that I want but then again I guess I have a lot of convincing to do. Le combat continue…