I just finished reading this great book entitled “Season of Life” by Jeffrey Marx. It’s really not your typical biography. This book is deeper than that. The story is about this former professional football star turned Minister and high school football coach. This book entails some very interesting aspects of a men’s spiritual and mental being. It delves into some issues that some men go through during our lifetime. It is a journey of a boy into manhood.
In this piece, Jeffrey Marx is interviewing this Minister and Coach and one thing they touched on is the ‘false masculinity’. The author discusses three different components to false masculinity that we have accepted as a society and we use that as a measuring stick as to what separate a real man from a boy. The three elements listed were: Athletic ability, sexual conquest and economic success. I read on about each specific factor, I begun to analyze the people around me and found concrete examples of how true this theory is really is. And then it suddenly hit me, I began to question myself and whether or not I am in fact one of those dudes affected by ideas of false masculinity. I asked why I did certain things and wondered if I was fixated with the act of declaring myself a man to my peers and the rest of the world.
The results of this deep introspection provided me with answers that I was very satisfied with yet I couldn’t help it but to ask myself some serious questions like, why do I love sports so much? Why do I feel the need to have sex? I also asked myself about the word success and my definition of it? Where did the idea of success come from? And how much of a factor does economic advancement play in my pursuit of success? And if success and money goes hand in hand? According to the Minister in “season of life”, success isn’t related to any of the things I was thinking about. He claims that the relationships that you have built with people are the true measurements of success. He backed up his claims with this, imagine a wealthy businessman with all the money in the world, yet he has failed at his marriage and doesn’t even know his own children. One thing I’ve learned though, regardless of my economical success, the act of making all of my personal relationships work with friends and family will always be a priority…
As the holiday season approached, I urge you to think of your relationship with those you love, those you claim to love and evaluate where you stand. Take a deeper look within you and imagine what your life would be like without the support of that homeboi, the advice of that sister, the unconditional love of that companion, imagine…I urge you to.
Happy Holidays folks… This is only the beginning.
I agree with you, but is forgiveness a part of this process that you talk about? It's seems that you should use your own advice, especially since I've noticed that you started speaking to people that you said you would never speak to again.
ReplyDeleteNothing personal, just an observation.
I have to say though I appreciate how much of a thinker you are, how much you analyze events and your life.
Good question??? Part of this journey is to grow and understand certain situations and that's what i've been doing...07 been that kind of year for me. It has forced me to accept the things that happened in my life and see how i can twist them into positives...
ReplyDeleteYes, I have been watching you from afar and I see that you have grown (I've always believed in you, especially since that first time in JUNE 2005).
ReplyDeleteBut, is understanding "a certain situation" amount to forgiveness? If so, do you express that forgiveness so healing can start to manifest both for you and that person?
I guess I've always believed in communication and how much power you have when you can master it.
May I ask for your forgiveness?
In every situation there are pros and cons...And through spiritual understanding we get to forgive and move on...In most cases, the forgiveness shouldn't even be expressed but then again it's always good to get it out of your system.
ReplyDeleteIf i were to say, yes, i forgive you, it would only mean that i know who you are...but if you truly mean it, you know how to reach me. So i await...Maybe i did you wrong too so please get at me.
"pro and cons" yes, but with love still standing.
ReplyDeleteI will contact you.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on the subject.
**12142007 journal entry: It's been some months since he has honored me with his voice, with that special tone, the sexy one that can always bring me back to when our cheeks rubbed together as I exploded with juicey love...
You're not forgiven!!!!!
ReplyDeleteit's funny, i have been doing that lately.So far i can say that i know where i stand and i am satisfied with where i am going and what i forsee.To think about what my life would have been if i didnt have the love and advice of my loved ones, especially you, is not something i like to do because it gives me a glimpse of how things could have turned out, but i do it because it's a must; a must because it helps me see what i overcame and make me appreciate my loved ones more. People tend to say they dont want to think about what their lives would have been like without a certain person, maybe it would be hard, they'd be lost or unhappy. what they dont realize is that, it's that analyzing that strentghens the appreciation/love and teach you to hold on tight to what you have. Failing to do that often leads to taking what you have for granted and not seeing the relationship for the gift that it is. Sometimes, you may come to find out that the relationship is not what you want it to be and you have no idea where you stand; you may have to decide to cut that person off; not because you dont love him/her, but because it is not right in many levels.
ReplyDeleteYou dont evaluate your relationship once, you'll do it as often as you see fit and it may take a few evaluations down the line to realize that the relationship is not healthy, no longer healthy or was never healthy.
Thanks for everything babe.
I accept that I am not forgiven.
ReplyDelete