So she met him at the club, they chatted all night long, it seemed like they have known each other all their lives. And then the unexpected happened, yep, she slept with him. So let me back track for a second, so you can fully have a handle on this…I am sure many of my fellow dudes have been through this before. Remember that time you met that chick at the club, the bar, or that family event, and she seemed like the perfect match, she was pretty, eloquent, secure, intellectual and many more right, remember her, remember how y’all said y’all would stay in touch but then before the night is over y’all ended up sleeping with each other. Do you also remember that last conversation before you penetrated her, yeah, THAT conversation, the one that goes like, “I am not like this, I don’t sleep with dudes I just met. I hope you don’t see me differently after this’ and I am sure many of y’all had the same response ‘nah, why would you say that boo. I don’t know what it is but I am just so feeling you, I have never experienced anything like this before…” and then boom, the shit went in…bust a nut and your little insecure mind start to analyze this event from every freaking angle…
So I had to give you the back story just so you can fully grasp this entry…So not too long ago I was talking to my compadre (that’s Spanish for homeboi) and he was telling me how he met this chick and they did it on the first night. Aight, I am like ok dude, was she worth it? Are you going to see her again? What’s her pulse? (Meaning, what is she saying now, where does she stands?) so he told me shawty was feeling him and they’re thinking about kicking it for good…But wait, he feels like because she slept with him on the first night, well, she probably have done with many other dudes. Now I ain’t going to lie, I am that same guy who be questioning everything about a chick too. I must admit, I am so judgmental like that. I know I am Mr. smooth, I know I can kick game to many and plenty…but hitting it on the first night is special, especially if she presents herself as being meticulous and so hard to get. Bu then again, those be the easiest to hit and run. I know you’re shaking your head as you read that last statement but it’s the truth. The bottom line is, every dude want to hit but we don’t want to hit it too quickly. Hitting it too quickly make you seem very easy but then again it makes us easy too, doesn’t it? So why the double standard one would ask? I am sure any dude would be like, ‘well, we’re dudes man; we’re supposed to do that’. But hold up my dude; just because she let you hit it on the first night, does that really make her easy? Does that really make her a whore? She probably just wanted to make ish easy for you? Did you ever think about that?
Let’s back track once again, remember when y’all first met and when y’all realize that y’all would probably be doing it, what exactly did you say to her bro? Did you oppose to the idea of sleeping with her? I bet you didn’t. Matter of fact, you told her that it was a spur of the moment thing, you told her that it didn’t matter what happened that night because it wouldn’t change your opinion of her…but hold up though, you messed up. Why did you start fronting a week after all this happened? Why did you start acting and not returning her calls even after you told her you would? So what was the problem then?
See I am a ladies man and I know this because I have 26 years in this game…yes you read right, I have 26 years in this game…and I am sure you’re asking yourself, how old is this fool? Well, I am 26. I’ve been kicking game ever since I was born, so yes, I am a veteran, don’t believe me, check the definition of a veteran and you’ll see my name right after yours. But let me get back to making my damn point, before your crazy ass interrupted me with all your crazy thoughts… The idea of sleeping with a girl on the first night is cool, all players want it that way therefore it’s kind of like sex with no strings attached. But I hate when we as guys take it too far. If you meet a nice young lady, who happens to sleep with you on the first night and if during y’all conversation you agreed to do this, which means you both are involved. I understand that as time progress you may not like her anymore but please don’t make it seem like it’s because she slept with you after the first night. We’re so insecure that we cannot face these innocuous speed bumps. Men tend to say that they don’t like to chase women but in truth we get so apprehensive when the pussy is right there in our face. They don’t like it when a woman makes it easy on them but they end up judging that individual…so my question is, what kind of men are you???
I know what kind of dude I am, a very insecure dude when I deeply analyze what I just wrote. I am that same dude that would not give her a call after I hit that on the first night, I am that same dude who verbally say he likes the chase when in fact I want it on a silver platter, I am that same dude who’s asking you what kind of men you are…in fact, I am the dude.
What kind of men am i??? The jury is still out on that one…but I…I give….hmmmm….i give…Much love to all my strong black women out there. Much love to those who doesn’t mind sleeping with a dude on the first night and still get him to stick by her without judging her actions. Much love to you because I am so stuck in my own ways that I have yet to accept the fact that you’re so feeling me that you would let me hit it on the first night…Much luv to all my sexy black women. You deserve better…
2021-2022 Season Finale
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*What's That Growling Noise?*
The WORD wonders. That growling noise could be his stomach. Maybe it’s the
backhoe digging up the front yard. Or, more like...
2 years ago
You guys are so confused and phony, as hell. I must say, my first experience and I fail terribly at it. I consider myself to be a strong and independent thinker, I am that woman. Nonetheless, I carried the name competition; therefore, competing for something I already had is out of the question. I will drop a man in a hot second, if, in fact, he showed lack of interest, for something that we both did and showed interest in. I say: stop talking about things that you, in fact, can’t handle. After reading this, I learned to never believe a man words, but his action.
ReplyDeleteThank you for this piece, it gives hope.
Bravo!!! I love this entry! I am glad that you pointed out these double standards b/c if there's one thing you know about me is my whole campaign against these type of issues! These double standards have really limited us women from expressing ourselves out of fear that we'll be judged for our actions. We've managed to change peoples' perception on a number of issues regarding women roles however we can never seem to change peoples' perception on women's roles when it comes to sex and relationships. I don't understand why society has placed these limits on us and I probably will never understand. We sure do deserve better but that doesn't necessarily mean we'll receive better. These double standards have been placed on us for centuries as much as I'd like to see them disappear, I have to be realistic that when it comes to our roles in sex we will always be expected to be the less dominant because of our gender. My only advice to my fellow women would be to do you. Don't allow for these standards to limit you from doing what you want to do, but just be prepared for the consequences thereafter.
ReplyDeleteRight, it's a woman's decision to sleep on the first date or night she meets a guy.You dont find yourself having sex in literally 1 sec, so you had time to process what you wanted to do-you made a decision. Maybe it was a wrong decision(mistake) because your hormone was raging, maybe its a norm for you.When it comes to women and men, there are many double standards- they are not new. so, like the young lady said, be prepared for the consequences that may surface.Men and women have sex on the first night, but you know that women are the one who are considered the loose one, the men are kool!!Men are not the only one responsible for these double standards, us women are too. Our female counterparts would be the first to consider that female a whore!!!!It takes 2 to tango, you both made the decision to dance on the first night lol-stop the name calling!!!
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No offense but im inlove with ur poems...the shit makes lots of sense....it really makes you sit there and wonder....
ReplyDeleteIm not even going to touch this one B
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