“Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. “
Psalm 51:10
I sometimes wonder if God still care or if He turns his head for just a little…The intellect in me knows that He wouldn’t do, he’s omnipresent and omnipotent so such thing wouldn’t occur yet I wonder. I’m not a bad person but I do have evil thoughts. Like my roommate who constantly runs his mouth about shit that has nothing to do with him, I’d like to duke it out with him or maybe I’d like to give him an overdose of pepto bismol. The motherfucker talks too danm much and it’s irritating me.
I also want to hate my ex girl but I cannot. It wouldn’t be right. She’s a nice a girl. A good girl at times. Very materialistic but that’s only because she has a lot of friends who are sleeping with dudes to get what they want, so in a way, my ex girl is either envious or jealous. Bu then again she claims to be different from these hoodrats yet she’s with them all the time. I want to lock her in a room and show her many videos of people who had their reputation tainted because of other people’s mishaps. I know I’ve been a victim of that and so have many of my colleagues.
I wish God would renew my spirit and create in me a pure heart. Lord knows I mean well but my actions aren’t not in line with my heart. The constant scrutiny in my community has somehow affected me and to a certain extent I’ve become careless…not in my actions but my reactions. I need a change of scenery so that I can go back too being me again. I sometimes reminisce on how much fun I used to have just to talk to different community leaders about their projects, plans and aspirations. I miss that…
I need a change big time because I can’t feel my heart…
2021-2022 Season Finale
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*What's That Growling Noise?*
The WORD wonders. That growling noise could be his stomach. Maybe it’s the
backhoe digging up the front yard. Or, more like...
2 years ago
Wow, you really getting deep!!! It's ok to wish,but wishing is passive. Praying is active, ask and you shall receive. I believe God has 3 answers to our prayers: 1.yes
ReplyDelete2.i am working on it
3.not yet
if his answer is 2 or 3, dont give up or get discouraged, with continuous prayer; you'll get your answer...
I am here for you if you want to talk- you know who this is!
This entry is like a page right out of my journal! It gives some insight to who you are. I commend you for unleashing yourself like this, I definitely couldn't do it. Trust me when I say I can relate but don't allow these obstacles to take the best of you. You're an incredible guy with many goals and aspiration. I trust you'll get back on track.
ReplyDeleteHey B.
ReplyDeleteI know GOD hears you. As I've said to you, the higher you are the harder you fall. I am sure you have made some mistakes or used some bad judgements, something somehow became unbalanced. Now is your time to sit back and learn from all the feelings, dealings and connections...
Have patience (long suffering) some things just take a while to materialize.
As for GOD, I feel that he needs you to be more humble (not saying that you are not), more like a child, more open to his messages and love. GOD always answers your prayers, it may not be the answer we are looking for, but he offers it.
You need some quiet time to just breath deeply, clearing your mind of everything, you need to shut your mind off. In silience you will hear the voice of GOD, stay open to that energy. We all have higher levels of ourselves that we need to reach, go ahead and find yours.
You are a very special person and can do anything you set your mind to (Prodigy), you can never forget that even when you are down...
BIG FAT BISOUS!! -NP