Should I...

I just saw the Vagina Monologue over the weekend and this play is a trip. So here’s a revised version of a piece I wrote a couple of years back.

A lot of people make a big deal out of the pussy but to me it's really not that big of deal. What is pussy? What can you do with it? Pussy is meant to be washed, jolly, eager, entertained, fucked, and most importantly, it is supposed to be eaten. Properly that is. Guys make so much out of eaten pussy that women are afraid to do anything with them. They're afraid to even say hello to these brothers because they know these Negus hate eating the pussy. I mean, what are these dudes afraid of? Kissing the potty hole…com’on now brother!

Now lemme clear something for you, i used to be afraid of the pussy my danm self. Me and my homey Max-Pain made a pact back in High School that the only thing we would do with the pussy is to fuck it, nothing more. But then one day, I got a piece of that pie. Oh boy, I have been hooked on that shit for good.

Soon after that first experience, I wanted to explore every aspect of it. I wanted to look at it, examine the curves, and get my tongue to twirl differently. I mean, I am a perfectionist, so I wanted my chick to get the whole package. If I am supposed to be this buffet of goodness, I needed to know how to eat that nookie properly.

Don't get it twisted now, I am by no means stating that I’m a pro at this shit, but I don't mind doing it until we get it poppin’ like Fat Joe. I'm more than willing to get down and dirty and take you down like Denzel in American Gangster. I am not as lyrical as Big or 2Pac, but my pussy eaten skills could possibly help you climax and have you remembering the titans and that goes for any day of the week not just any given Sunday. Whatever it takes, I’m gonna find a way to jump on that shit and make it a Gangsta Party, ain't gonna b like no playas club shit, but Love Jones will definitely b in the house.

Whether you're trying to b like Stella and get your groove back or you're waiting to exhale, i can help you too; Taye Diggs got nothing on me. And once you get this shit, you'll probably want to call 911 like Clef and marry J, but I worry not, like the Terminator, I’ll be back…Maybe in November for the winter.

All jokes aside though, pussy is probably the best thing that God made available to us man that will forever be valuable. When you do meet that one person that you don't mind showing a good time, please take the time out to let her know that you are feeling everything about her, and then GET YOUR ASS 2 WORK…